Connersville, Indiana made national news this week. And not for a good reason either. It seems they have their own version of water polo and it’s illegal. According to a WISH-TV report, a couple was charged for public indecency for having sex in a public pool. During the day. With LOTS of people around! Now, I have so many questions I don’t know where to begin. But begin I will, because this is just the sort of hard news you’ve come to expect me to comment on!
So, let’s start with the details of the story. The report says that the couple was having sex for a half hour before somebody complained. This raises a couple of questions: Who timed it? And, what happened around minute 30 that so offended the onlookers that they complained. They were obviously not troubled by the first 29 minutes of the show. Am I the only one troubled by this?
The next question is obvious: Is chlorine a spermicide? I’m not trying to be crass here, but if this woman gets pregnant, the poor kid has way more than three strikes against him/her. “Where did you meet mommy?” “In the deep end, son.”
And speaking of strikes, I’ve got the perfect actors to portray them, when (not if) Lifetime turns this into a movie. Not since Michael “Squints” Palledorous kissed Wendy Peffercorn in The Sandlot have we seen such romance associated with a public bathing facility. I say bring Chauncey Leopardi and Marley Shelton back together to play the Connersville couple.
Finally, I’m troubled by the fact that this happened in a public pool. I had enough trouble with the ocean after Jaws 1 and 2. Jaws 3 actually got me to go back in the ocean. It was so bad, I wanted to be eaten by a shark. So I won’t be visiting any public pools in the near future. At least not on the 1st date.
Carry on, Citizens!
I read about this on the web, but you have put a whole new “laugh out loud” content to the entire subject. -Thank you for sharing.